I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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