Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
