Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
