they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
