you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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