Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize