i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
