And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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