fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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