Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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