Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
