WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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