Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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