Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm way too hungover for life right now
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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