maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
