the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
