tell your sister to shave her snatch
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
