Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
