i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
