sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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