The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
