a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
