I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
