i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
