Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize