Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
