Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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