He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This baby is an asshole
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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