her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
