I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
