i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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