I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
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it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
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A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I still have a little drunk in my system
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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