Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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