Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
be right there i have to get my cape
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
