i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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