i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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