This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
