Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
