so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
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I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
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I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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