how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
