pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
