Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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