i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
