This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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