If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
