Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
