I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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