Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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