I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
