If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
