That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
