Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
