I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
