You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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