TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
