why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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