Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
