I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
