Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
