it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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