one two three fourrrrnication!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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