YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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