We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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