he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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