Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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