I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
