drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
