She said her name was "party"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
