have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
