ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
accomplished twins. life is a go
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
