Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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