okay pat passed out under dana's car
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
